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Turn It Off

May 12th, 2015 at 12:25 pm

The husband and I are still separated, and he swings back and forth between understanding and totally ass. He's managed to find a long term stay hotel, which is still pricey, but not as bad as a hotel room every night.

It feels like we're moving closer to divorce, instead of moving towards healing.

He's cancelled cable entirely - he kept wifi, which is what I mostly use. I don't really watch tv.

He cancelled the local dairy delivery.

He's cancelled the weekly cleaners.

All of these are things that impact me more than him, as he's not at the house, but they are all things I've okay'd for him to do.

And I have to admit that those things together are a good size chunk of money that will no longer be outgoing.

But it's still weird and hard. I've noticed that we turn the lights off when we leave, and the heater/ac stays at the level I put it before bed.

The bed stays made. The dishes get done.

But I also make the kid's lunch and get him to and from school. I check all the homework, deal with all of the whining, do all of the laundry.

I feel off balance. I'm still looking for my new normal.

3 Responses to “Turn It Off”

  1. snafu Says:

    I'm so sorry things are falling off the rails but that's what alcoholics do to relationships. Is 'B' going to daily AA meetings? For the short term, to conserve cost, would he be willing to rent a room in a private home with kitchen privileges? What is his access to transportation? Can he access social assistance?

    Change will challenge you nearly every day. Would you consider going to Al Anon meetings to better understand how alcoholics work against themselves and the people who love and care about them? These meeting incidentally help with coping strategies to get you through the really bad patches.

    What is your plan for the summer months for you and DS? Do you have family and friends who are safe to vent and hear your frustration? What no cost, low cost activities are available to DS in your community since the school term is winding down? How best to shield him from the drama of 'B's decisions?

  2. Amber Says:

    Aw I too am sorry that things seem to be going haywire, I'm sure in the end it will workout

  3. CB in the City Says:

    Keeping you in my thoughts, Alianora. It can be a rocky road to the new normal, but you will learn from the journey.

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