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A Day at a Time

May 3rd, 2015 at 02:37 pm

It's been a long time since I've updated, and it's been a very long two years.

Since B's mother has died, we still have not sold the house. Mainly because he hasn't done anything with it. No estate sale, no setting things up with a realtor, nada.

More importantly, he lost his job.

October 2013, his school called me to come get him. He was well above the legal limit for alcohol. I picked him up, got him home, tried to get him help.

We've been fighting this battle for so long.

This past December, he had a grand mal seizure from detoxing, in front of my entire family and a bunch of kids, on the Santa Clause train.

In March, he was brought home by the cops.

We're separated at the moment, and I'm trying to stay hopeful, but it's really hard.

We're meeting with the couples counselor on Tuesday, where there will be ultimatums given, and I find myself looking at the budget and wondering what the hell to do.

I know I can survive as a single parent. I know. We've been living on my income primarily anyway. But there is also the crazy amount of medical expenses due to ambulance rides, ER visit, intake, and 3 days stay in the hospital - and it's under my insurance, so yes, it is my responsibility.

So I'm trying to cut some corners anyway. And because I don't want to talk about my marriage anymore, I'm going to talk about money.

I called Comcast and cancelled two of the premium channels B had insisted on, plus the $5 "insurance" fee that Comcast charges: $25/monthly right there.

I downgraded my Audible membership from Premium to Gold, from 22.95 to 14.95, saving $8/monthly.

I cancelled our forgotten Care.com membership - of course, AFTER we had been billed again, but still, that's $50 every six months, which adds up.

I have a subscription box I can cancel, and if things do go south and B and I can't come to an agreement about his treatment, I can cancel the local milk delivery, as that is mostly for him.

I know I have a lot of options to be able to cut corners without changing much around my house, but I am hoping the corner I don't have to cut is my marriage.

8 Responses to “A Day at a Time”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    I sure hope you don't have to end your marriage either. Good start cutting some expenses.

  2. rob62521 Says:

    Thoughts and prayers as you work to save your marriage and work on your finances.

  3. frugalredhead Says:

    Good luck to you as you try to work all of this out. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that an addict has to want to quit for themselves, and nothing you do or say will make a difference. It is not a healthy environment for you or for children to grow up in.

    Good start cutting some expenses!

    I wish you the best!

  4. VS_ozgirl Says:

    The idea of cutting a few expenses here and there is good. If you are having money problems focus on the needs and cut the luxuries- while it's important for a person's wellbeing to have some sort of luxury, if you're not rolling in money then the simple pleasures are what you should focus on having. Good luck with it all, keep aiming for a good result.

  5. PatientSaver Says:

    I think you're wise to stop thinking about the marriage becus it's now mostly beyond your control. Smart to start cutting unnecessary expenses; i would keep going with that, especially with any recurring expenses, no matter how small. Focus on ensuring your own financial survival; I hope your marriage makes it but, knowing what little I do, it doesn't sound good. Do what you need to do and hang in there.

  6. CB in the City Says:

    Yep, focus on a day at a time. Maybe your spouse can fight his way back to sobriety, but it is not your fight, and I think you are wise to focus on finance. I wish I had done that when my marriage was breaking up.

  7. Looking Forward Says:

    I hope your husband can make the changes he must make, but it is in his court to do so. You are making a good choice by focusing on what you can change and improve. Good Luck!

  8. Petunia 100 Says:

    It is nice to see you posting again! Smile
    I hope your husband is able to get the help he needs. Unless he does, there is nothing you can do. Be strong and take care of yourself and your little Dark Lord. (Love his fictitious name, btw).

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