At the end of this year, my classroom is closing.

Again.

I am an early childhood special ed teacher, and I teach an inclusion classroom - meaning some of my children are typically developing, and some have a variety of disabilities.

This means that my classroom is very dependent on the number of children placed (kids with disabilities) and children enrolled (typical peers).

Right before the winter holidays, the principal called me down to tell me my projected numbers for next year were low, and so my classroom was closing.

This isn't the first, or even the second time this has happened. It is, in fact, the third.

I hate it. Because I can never get fully comfortable in any school because I'll probably be moving on in a couple of years.

It also means that I have to apply and interview for the school where they are opening a classroom.

In the midst of all of the personal life mess, I just don't have the energy to jump through that many hoops - especially because I've turned in applications for several jobs already.

So, I'm solo parenting, my husband has made no progress that I can see towards starting any type of treatment, and come August I will no longer be pulling a regular paycheck.

I probably should be panicking, but I'm not.

I'm a special education teacher - I can sub every single day of the school year if I want to. It's not as high of a paycheck, but we'll get by. We might have to tighten the belts a bit more, but we have a good amount in our "taxes" fund that hasn't been needed, plus my second job (proofreading) brings in a hundred or so per month. Not a lot, true, but that will cover groceries.

Plus, I need time. The flexibility of subbing means that I can take days off when I need to. It means I can make it to Voldemort's field days and school plays without having to beg for a personal day.

I have concerns, of course - health insurance, for one big thing.

But the benefits are looking better and better.

I might still get another teaching job, and that will be ok. But if I don't, I'm ok.

We'll be ok.