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In Money Wii Trust

March 22nd, 2007 at 06:30 pm

I know there are others here who feel like they and their families are on completely different pages moneywise, but sometimes I just dont know how to handle things as they come up.

Every spare cent - my allowance, my half.com money - for the past 2 months has been going straight towards being able to go to Anchorage and have the baby. I havent even been putting MY OWN MONEY into my personal savings account, because Im worried about no having enough.

Which is fine, as it is, my money, and my choice.

But then, when my husband mentions that - due to the afterschool tutoring program he is currently running, he's already made about $260 this WEEK, and is going to buy a Wii with it - why does this bother me so much?

It is, in fact, his money, his choice. i KNOW that. I do.

And thats probably why I just twitched a little and told him I wasnt entirely comfortable with that.

He got an Xbox360 for Christmas, half from me, half from his parents. He bought several games for it. He used his allowance for the NEXT several months (note: next, not last) to buy the Windows Vista upgrade. He just got us an AeroGarden (this is why I shouldnt go out of town and leave him on his own. Infomercials!). And most of this was from HIS account - which we also have to pay bills out of.

We are still very very close to maxed out on four out of five credit cards - mostly maxed while he was in school full time, and I was working a lower paying job. And the other maxed to move us to Alaska in the first place.

We are making a very good wage up here, and we COULD afford it, especially with this tutoring job. He's right, he's worked alot, and the Wii isnt as expensive as the other systems, so he probably could easily buy it with his paychecks from the tutoring.

But it just feels like we are on completely different pages. And no matter how much we talk about it, I get frustrated, because I feel like he isnt hearing or understanding my concerns.

Any advice?

8 Responses to “In Money Wii Trust”

  1. Fern Says:

    Guess i have to disagree that:

    It's his money, it's his choice as to how to spend it.

    That would be true if he were single, but with a wife and baby on the way, i think the savings and sacrifice should come from both spouses, not just one. It would be good if you could somehow agree to some sort of plan that would allow some discretionary spending and some compulsory saving, a % from each paycheck.

    would that be possible?

  2. Fern Says:

    By the way, i made 2 trips to Alaska, and loved them both!

    Tell us more about Alaska. Have you been seeing the Northern Lights this winter? How is the weather? Are 24 hours of darkness getting to you?

    What made you decide to move there?

  3. alianora Says:

    We do do that, to a point. THESE bills are paid from my account, and THOSE are paid from his. If we had a joint checking account, that would be one thing - we dont, as his credit is very messed up from identity theft that hasnt been completely worked out yet - because then BOTH of our paychecks could be deposited into the one, except for allowances and things.

    And yes, most money is considered OUR money. But the tutoring thing - that is HIS money, the way I see it. He is working over and beyond what is needed for bills. We could use it, yes, to pay off debt faster, but we dont NEED it. Which makes things a little more complicated.

  4. Broken Arrow Says:

    Well, if you've got an arrangement that you're not comfortable with, then that arrangement obviously needs to be revisited.

    Hmm.

    Yeah, it does seem a bit strange to focus so much of the "disposable" income (even though there are several credit cards still maxed out and with a wife and a baby on the way...) on video games.

    Kind of ironic since I love video games. Big Grin I currently don't play, but I'm trying to slake my thirst for it by telling myself that I'm only on sabbatical. Big Grin

    Anyways, I hope that you two find a way to be on the same page again.

  5. alianora Says:

    Fern:

    We live in a fishing village on the far west end of Alaska. We moved up here to teach for a few years, as the husband just got his Masters in elementary and wanted to do something exciting. Smile And they pay us very well. We'll be up here through next year, and then we'll go somewhere I want to go.

    We could see the Northern Lights during the winter, the later the better, but here we mostly saw the green - not so much all the colors. Supposedly we could see them now - but it doesnt really get dark now until 10 or so at night, and I dont want to get up at 3 am to see them! lol.

    We arent far enough North for 24 hours of anything. The worst it gets is about 13/14 hours of either dark or light. Its not bad, really!

  6. Fern Says:

    Interesting! As i understand, Alaska has no income tax and no sales tax? So sounds like you're not that close to Anchorage then. It seems that outside of Anchorage and Fairbanks, Alask a is very much small towns/boonies. Well, who knows, you might end up staying longer since there are various financial attractions to doing so. Doesn't the state each year pay you something from the oil revenue? I think maybe you have to have been living there for at least a few years, altho i really can't remember.

  7. LuckyRobin Says:

    It may be HIS money, but it is also HIS baby, too. His job isn't over with getting you pregnant, he needs to contribute to the upkeep and necessities of said pregnancy. You are growing a whole other person, uncompensated, mind you. That's a lot of extra work your body puts in every single day and night for nearly 10 months (the real amount of time in a full term gestation, not a wimpy nine months, do the math). I think he should contribute at least half of his tutoring money to the baby fund. Keep track of what he contributes and if there is anything left over after the baby is born and you go back home, he can have it back. And keep a little of your own personal allowance for yourself or you will just resent him.

  8. shadon Says:

    alianora - how are you going? How long until you're due now?

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